
BUSINESS FOR SALE: Farrah's Faucets - would suit up and coming plumber's apprentice. All reasonable offers considered.
2MB Community Radio - tap-a tap-a tap-a
Keeping the local community in touch with what's happening and to whom it is happening and also in what way.
Amy Sedaris, host of 2MB Community Radio's regular gossip segment So Said Sedaris (every hour, on the hour after the composting recap), has apologised to Mr Jeff Goldblum, a local helium balloon designer, for reporting that he had fallen off a cliff while holidaying in New Zealand last week."It was completely untrue," said Ms Sedaris. "A grave mistake on my part. I should have checked my sources before just blurting out the rumour on air. I've spoken to Mr Goldblum and he's confirmed that he wasn't even in New Zealand at the time and, if he had been, he'd certainly have been nowhere near a cliff. And, even if he was, he has an uncannily stable centre of gravity for such a tall man and would never fall. And, even if he did, the helium balloons..."
"Although," she added shortly thereafter. "Has anybody seen Dakota recently?"
On tonight's edition of Brooke's Books, your regular host and town deputy libarian Brooke Burke will discuss John Le Carre's The Spy Who Came In From The Cold.
NEWSFLASH!
On tonight's special episode of Bryan Brown's Small Business Hour, your regular host Bryan Brown speaks to 2MB station manager (and permanent guest-in-residence of station owner and massage oil tycoon Ellen Degeneres) Portia De Rossi."Game shows!! Sure, Where Oh Where Is My Underwear? with Heather Graham didn't excite listeners, but we have high hopes for Ex? Why? in which freelance security guard John Stamos will invite listeners to guess why local couples have decided to go their separate ways. Also, we're extremely excited by Naomi's What? in which listeners will be invited to guess which of her possessions local driving instructor Naomi Watt is holding. If you love Hugh Goes There?, and let's face it, everybody does, you'll love Naomi's What?"
Local fruiter Heather Graham's quest for a return to breakfast radio met another setback this week with her proposed new show Where Oh Where Is My Underwear? slammed in local street polls. Examples of feedback included:"Absolutely disgusting. Isn't it about time Miss Graham started wearing all her clothes every time she went out in public? Yes, even at (local kebab shop) Dennehy's!" - local Rotary Club secretary Shannon Doherty.
"I don't, y'know, mind the idea of Heather wearing no underpants. That's kinda hot. But isn't this radio?" - Brad Garret, Deputy Choreographer, Town Enthusiastic Dancing Society.
"They're probably in her intimates chiffonier. Or her laundry hamper." - Lorne Michaels, owner of The Local Lorne-dro-mat.
On last night's episode of One Hundred Minutes With Rick Moranis, 2MB Community Radio station owner and town massage oil tycoon Ellen Degeneres revealed she was not worried about the ever-growing prize pool for real estate appraiser Hugh Jackman's ratings-smashing game show Hugh Goes There."It is true that the prize pool will reach $320 in cash and 16 free sessions at Twist And Shout Osteopathy this Friday should nobody guess the local identity who Hugh is impersonating," conceded Ms Degeneres. "But that's not enough to concern me. Despite the doubling effect [High School Head of Mathematics] Mr Clooney keeps banging on about, I'm not worried. Sooner or later somebody will unravel Hugh's impression."