And The Award Goes To...

Amy Sedaris (host of 2MB Community Radio's five minute gossip segment, every hour on the hour, after the news and soil salinisation report) reports that the Eighty-First Annual Community Awards reached their nadir last night, with co-Mayor Affleck sweeping the ceremony for the ninth year running. Watched by fewer than two dozen people, many of them homeless and attending under threat of arrest, the co-Mayor accepted each and every award with 'obnoxious fist-pumping' and shouts of 'get that up ya' to his fellow nominees, almost none of whom were present.

One who was present was Heather Graham, former joint host with Heath Ledger of the Heath, Heather, Heathest breakfast radio show. The popular morning program was the sentimental favourite to win the coveted 'Best Supporting Breakfast Radio Show in a Small Town Community' award. However, co-Mayor Affleck again claimed the award, despite taking no part in any breakfast radio during the year.

"I'd hoped that with co-Mayor Leoni now sharing power with co-Mayor Affleck, the foul stench of corruption at these awards might have abated," said Miss Graham. "I guess I was wrong. Now I feel like an idiot getting all frocked up in this strapless, backless, crotchless gown."

Co-Mayor Affleck's response was brief:

"Get that up ya!" he said, before belching a request for another tankard of beer.

2MB Community Radio - thanking the Academy