Aboard The Abuse Caboose

2MB Community Radio would like to apologise in advance for tonight's episode of I'm Sorry, I Don't Know How To Improvise and, in particular, the game of I Think... You Stink between Dakota Fanning and Abigail Breslin which, according to host and moderator Sean Penn got out of hand 'far quicker' than he expected.

"I'd particularly like to apologise for the vulgar and richly visual imagery that the girls used in this fan-favourite insult game," said Mr Penn. "Some of the crudity coming out of their mouths was enough to make even Cillian blush."

Mr Penn went on to explain that, despite the fact the language was as foul as any he'd ever heard on the show (excluding Madame Kidman's sole appearance), none of the cursing would be censored, because the station had 'ratings to consider'.

2MB Community Radio - crude, rude and downright lewd

Semi-Retired Architect On The Run

Once again, semi-retired local architect Paul McCartney has created a hullabulloo, this time when he hijacked the Bryan Brown Small Business Hour. As host Bryan Brown struggled valiantly to keep his segment on customer service on focus, Mr McCartney did his best to disrupt the discussion, constantly interrupting with crude and incomprehensible innuendo about 'special' customer services allegedly on offer at his ex-wife's osteopathy clinic.

Although asked to leave the studio, Mr McCartney did manage to call back in during the latter half of the show, eluding show screeners with a 'startlingly good' Finnish accent. He apologised to Mr Brown, claiming that he'd mistaken his show for an episode of 2MB comedy favourite I'm Sorry, I Don't Know How To Improvise.

The apology was derailed, however, when, from nowhere, Mr McCartney suddenly started yelling 'I don't want any balloons at my party!' over and over.

Host and moderator of I'm Sorry, I Don't Know How To Improvise, Sean Penn has agreed to splice in Mr McCartney's latest rants in time for this Friday's show.

"Frankly, anything's preferable to Cillian's knock knock jokes," he said.

2MB Community Radio - looking forward to the Finnish lines

The Points Do Matter

Last Friday night saw fan favourite I'm Sorry, I Don't Know How To Improvise return for its seventeenth straight season (and nineteenth season in total). Host and moderator Sean Penn was back with the usual regulars and this week's special guest - roof tiler and former mayoral candidate Cillian Murphy.

The result was half an hour of the usual madcap unscripted comedy. The highlights:

• Faith Ford's hilarious nine-minute monologue on why, this season, 'madberet' is more apt than 'madcap'
• Local diesel mechanic and resident wit Jake Gylenhaal's satirical skewering of Deputy Mayor Damon's collection of storage jars
  
• And Cillian Murphy's guffaw-inducing knock-knock jokes

By special request from Deputy Mayor Damon's legal counsel, there will be a repeat of Friday night's episode this Monday morning from 11am and, of course, you can tune in every Friday night from 10:30 pm for fresh episodes of I'm Sorry, I Don't Know How To Improvise.

2MB Community Radio - making it up as we go along